I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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