This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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