Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
