I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
