I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
