My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
