I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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