Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
