That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
