he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
