Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
