There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize