I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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