you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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