I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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