Don't you send me to vm
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
