at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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