either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
