I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
