hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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