I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
