I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
