I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
