kristin has been a bad kristin
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
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