why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
BRING THE BAGELS
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
