My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
