Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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