found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
