Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
