Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
