Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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