I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
