I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
