there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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