So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We got so high we made milksteak
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
