roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
