He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
