..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Don't make out with my wife yet
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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