what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
