I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
