i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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