I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
