i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
