I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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