Welp...herpes.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
no you cant smoke seaweed
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
