there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
