no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
