its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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