the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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