i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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