I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
