I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
