Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
