Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
